I'm on antabuse now, which means I CANNOT drink any alcohol.  It was my decsion to start taking it.  I need to stop and try and be sober.  I am not happy though.  All I think about is drinking and I'm mad that other people can drink but I can't.  I'm not good at not giving into my cravings.  I pray I get through this.  It's been 2 weeks without alcohol.